Forget Oreos

I don't expect LL Cool J to ever make another song I want to hear, but this was my shit when it came out:


LL Cool J: "No Airplay" (?, 1994)

My expectations were relatively low then. LL had kinda stumbled with "Strictly Business." 14 Shots to the Dome was a turd. But "No Airplay" captured the miracle of his best records--he managed to sound imperial and hungry at the same time.

The song also contained probably the most suspect and inadvertently funny braggadocio of LL's checkered career. There I was figuring he'd never top "Sucker MCs really make me sick/I'm so bad I could suck my own dick" when, lo and behold, he comes out with "I'm up through your asshole and fucking up your insides." Sometimes you really shouldn't top yourself.

If I remember right, there was a super-limited vinyl promo of this version of "No Airplay." For years, I only had the song on a tape of my homie Beni B murdering two copies on a Canadian radio show. Then there was the version I got, which sounds like it was recorded from scratchy vinyl. The version that appeared months later on Mr. Smith was junked up with some extraneous shit.

For some nice Cool J obscurities, check my man Phill Most's blog.